As in the days of yore...

i hold your gaze in my heart

the one that still pierces

my insides... and when done,

giggles, silly like a child -

naughty and innocent

and in so many ways, wild!

as wild and vivid as it can be,

i bring it back from memories

to revel in the quiet of the night

and run riot in my ecstatic mind -

waiting for serendipity to come by

and for my being to rejoice in that find!

I often pretend you're here

and sneak a glance or two and smile

in that feeling of joy, knowing

what will be, if deja vu happens -

only i'd want it to happen again

and again - more regular than often!

Will you wake me up some day,

snapping me from this happy dream?

Of your eyes meeting mine...

To say, while holding my gaze,

"Wake up, dreamer, i am here

..why are you still amazed?"

That is when i will tell you

of the thousand adjectives

and exclamations i saved for this day! -

only to be speechless again, lost like before

and see you shake your head, and walk away

like you did in the days of yore!

31st August, 2014

That time...

the night is young
wont you be mine?
wont you stay a li'l while?
maybe dance longer on my wrist?
Tempt me good - 
yeah, tempt me bad!

i'd rather stay
and see you smile
but you dont given in -
just escape, you wily thing
you push me far,
you pull me back!

yet i wait for you
for those moments
the silence of the night
muted screams of delight!
You make me smile,
you make me frown!

i look forward 
to seeing you tonight
as you reveal 
yourself, bit by bit
you show me some
and then you hide!

and so goes, 
those hours - every night
in a sensuous rush - every chime!
lo behold, such is time....
she makes you wait,
she makes you pine!

Weaving a dream...

shall i weave you a dream

to sweep you off your feet,

set you floating,

buzzing like a bee..

And when mid-air

smile, all you can

like the princess

who was called pretty

by the mirror on the wall!

I would gladly be the weaver

and go on weaving this dream

but wouldn't you rather,

we both stayed awake

and saw the same dream?

Or should we both go to sleep

stay suspended in reality

and when there, ask the mirror

what's the writing on the wall?

we will be each other's wall

and i will be your mirror

like you'd be mine

and then what we see

will be real or a dream?

by then it won't matter

for a new state of existence

will arrive, where from within

reality, we will weave :)

Knots...

knots, so many of them

tied and untied

until i know no more

what knots i need

what knots i don't

all i know is

not to note

this particular knot...

there are some easy ones

like the ones i started tying

my laces with and the

ones i'd use to fix my tie!

and all tied up now

i dont know

how to untie, or what to

until it is naught...

and finally when it comes

to nothing but naught

i shall think about getting

knotty again, or naughty is it?

i dont know, really

all the notes i made to not

think about this knot

makes me distraught...

here's the resolution then

i shall make or not

make this year:

what i should and what

i should not -

is not in my control

for i am forever

perplexed by the thought:

to be or knot, to be?

(how random inspirations can be - stumbled upon the headline "untying the knots" on a news Website and those words wouldn't go away till they stringed themselves together here :D ..)

thirty three!!

there,
pretty tease, you
yeah, that's right
you shake me
you give me the fright!

here,
pretty teased, me
yeah, very right
you've had me
now, cant stand upright!

only
if i had you
very much so
wouldnt that be
good to know!?

but,
there, there goes you
oh, yes, i see
wouldnt that be
the girl number thirty three?

Three,
and three?
yes, you got me right!
and the idea of thirty fourth,
gives me the fright! :D

You and i or we and us?

how do i belong to you

when you do not belong to me

how do we belong to us

when both of us don't belong to"we"

of you and i and we and us

and all the drama and the fuss

when everything settles down

it won't amount to mush or much

so the point that i allude to again

is that since we are no longer us

why don't we take a final ride

upon the good-old-rickety bus

the bus that we got on to once

and have traveled thus far and glee

let us take that route again

as you and i, no longer we

and when arrive those familiar stops

you go yours and i'll go mine

for our hands wont be again

like before, intertwined...

Where art thou?

"Where art thou",

she asked and

i couldn't say here

neither could i point there

for i wasn't anywhere

yet, i was here and there...

i asked the same question

when i looked into the mirror

i got back a stare

of a man not knowing

why, when or where

just that the answer was rooted in the stare

now how do i say

i am living in a state 

suspended between fact and fiction

in the thick of action

yet tucked away from glare

all covered but bare...

after weaving words

in an organized, random chaos

i still cannot say where i am

but i want to be back

only if i could cut some slack

and be more real.

real, unreal, surreal

is what am vaccilating between

only if i stopped at one place

feet firmly on the ground - i could be sure

and tell you or maybe shout out, M'am

here i am :)

05/08/2013

(in reply to Usha's question..... )

The Tap Dance

your fingers tap dance

oh they bestow this pain

don’t you play on me like that

lending an illusion of rain

while your dance produces

words of love, lust and chains

of thoughts that play

in delight sometimes, and sometimes in disdain

i like it when you glide on me

your touch of benevolent grace

and the times when you pause

and look down on my face

but when you're done with me

you tap on me no more

and tuck me away somewhere

waiting for more taps in store

take me out, i wait

for your touch again this time

you wouldn't find a better keyboard

for what you shell out in dimes!

The Ground Beneath my Feet...

Who moved the ground

beneath my feet?

Was it that look,

or is that how you treat

every eye that looks at

your graceful smile

and every heart that

beats in ways so wild?!

As i stay suspended mid-air

with the ground beneath me gone

i wonder if i'll fly

or be flung down like a stone? -

come what may, i know

i dont have a chance

i know i am falling

i might as well dance! :)

The sword of love...

The mist rises outside 
And sighs, within my heart.... 
Smiling in my thoughts 
and that is only a part - 
of the whole of me that pines 
For a glance, a touch, a word...
and having suffered, I survive
to be pained again by love's sword!

David Antony, 07/26

You have a knack!...

dont you have a knack

of running on my mind?

when i close the doors

secret windows you somehow find!

and when i close the secret windows

and secure my mind for sure

you seep in through the li'l cracks

and run my thoughts impure!

is that what Elvis picked -

when he sang "devil in disguise?"

for when you sneak in to my mind

i am no longer sane nor wise

Elvis really sang his mind

and mine sings in chorus too -

"wise men say only fools rush in"

and that's why i fall for you!

now as i start to count -

one and two and three...

of the times i've fallen for you

i lose count in the counting spree

okay, one more time...

one last, that it would be

i will free fall once again

for you, my cup of coffee! ;)

- DA, 05/17

The street car named Desire!

The streetcar named desire

ran me over, ran me to ground

with thoughts so precise

and views so profound

or so i thought...

I still couldn’t stand my ground,

couldn’t throw up arguments

for desire ruled the roost

crazy's the case i present

or so i thought...

I still couldn't make a point,

still could not say no

i fancied myself a chance

for i had a reputation to show

or so i thought...

and zealously tried to fight it -

fought till i could no more

for now, i give in to desire

there will be more wars in store

or so i think.. ;)

- DA, 05/08/2012

Tum...

kisi botal mein na samaaye

aisa nasha ho tum
jamaaye rakhe mehfil hameshaa
aisa samaa ho tum

ab iss nashe se nashaa kar lein
bass itna kara do tum
aur is same mein samaa jao
bass mehfil mehkaa do tum!

David Antony, 04/04

(#random attempts at hindi verse...)

She Doesn't Even Know!...

(So my biggest crush is going away today - and i know she is...and i don't even know her name.. so this goes out to her :-) ....)

she says good bye today

to people around her

and i feel it weighing down

my heart, my smile.... oh! and

the best thing is?

she doesn't even know!

it was serendipity

even before i knew what

the word meant or was supposed

to mean... she happened to me

and the funny thing is -

she doesn't even know!!

she doesn't even know

that someone admires her

and smiles at her joy-inducing smile

adds her to the count of little joys in his life

and now he says a muted good bye,

which, she will not see… not know!!!

David Antony, 

04/03

The Spelling Mistake...

he spelt it wrong, your name

first time around and then

he faltered with the punctuation

but did he get the meaning wrong?

or did you notice only such things

like grammar, but not the lyrics of the song?

maybe!

you spelt it right, his name

every time you did so

and never faltered with the commas

or with the million rules of grammar

but did you convey what your heart said?

or just noticed how much and where he erred?

maybe!

maybe you both got it wrong

first time around and every time since

and maybe you spoke on different planes

and thereby thought about different stakes

maybe you were an adjective as in the thesaurus

and he was just a spelling mistake...

The Walls...

all around, four walls

silent, gazing, unmoved but there

they have seen people come and go

and they have only been fair

to hear, not hear

but stand still, at ease

and speak or not speak of

what transpired - tumult or bliss?

if they could speak

if they could tell each other

what they thought of some

and what they thought of the others

would they speak of the people

the ones that came in and walked out...

would they speak of the silence

and how some souls ramble about?

joined shoulder to shoulder

looking at each other night and day

would they talk about the lonely eyes

that stared at them from near yet away

about the passion shared,

and would they speak of the throes

the gasps and the shudder and the whispers?

would they talk about everything they've heard and known?

of the lonely soul that longed for company

the listless couple that longed to be alone

of the kindly soul with a smile of gold?

and the cruel man with a heart of stone?

would they cry with the broken hearts

and shed tears of joy and sorrow as shed?

launch sighs at the sighful moments

and shudder as they see things they dread?

they might, they might not

we dont know but people, they

will come and they will go - journey

through their lives and at some point stay

enclosed by these walls, looking up, wondering

do they see and hear me? will they

talk about  me when am gone?

they might, they might not - that's all i can say...

David Antony

03/21

The Search...

Why do I look for you

In the streets, in the sky?

..in everyone I see

in the clouds passing by?

Why do I crane my neck

to look for you in the flowers?

And stare at my watch,

finding you in every moment, every hour?

Why do I look everywhere

when I know you are on my mind…

..and in my heart, isn’t that where I should

look and isn’t that where you, I’ll find?

David Antony

03/21

hApPy Women's Day!

To all the wonderful women i've known, crossed paths with, and walked together...

An Answer to The Elevenses Tag!

A quick background: 

So Usha, who is on a Quest on Overdrive writes really amazing stuff and i land up on her post like a night owl in no time :D ..so one fine morning in the middle of the night ;) i see this post, The Elevenses Tag :) and find that am tagged and have to answer eleven questions about myself... the lady is generous enough to give me the choice of replying in prose on my other blog or try it poetically here... i took the path less traveled and that has made all the difference :P - as in i became the procrastinator i am and managed to finally write only last night...and here i am:

The 11 questions, i had to answer about myself:
1. In one word, what have you gained, in life, that you hold most precious? (there, that rules out “weight” )
2. In three words, a pet peeve?
3. A word you think you use a lot, unconsciously ?
4. What is it that you love to do, most, and would rather spend your time doing it
5. What do you think others think of you?
6. Who would you say made you who you are today (other than your parents, if that is what you would answer )
7. What gives you joy?
8. Your all time inspiration?
9. If you could go back to one moment in your past, which moment would it be?
10. Do you believe in alternate lifetimes? If so, what is the you there doing now? (It’s actually one question, with two parts )
11. What makes you you?


And my answers:
 
Open notepad,
big smiles - and i sit and wonder
for days since i've got the tag....
to rhyme or not to
might be the question
but are the answers ready in my bag?

Dig deep,
dig more - and i speak of wonders
for i know the answer, know the trend
in one word, what i have gained
that's close and most precious
it has to be, without blinking, my super-awesome friends!

Think now,
a li'l more - a pet peeve?
and say it in as many words, but three!
the first thing that strikes my mind
the first thing i will say is - honking
is a "sin (of the) highest degree"!

Recall now,
Consciously and not -
the word i use the most?
when happy, super-happy
and even when am sad -
"Awesomeness", takes the toast!

Blush now,
for i need to say
what is that the most i love?
i dont have to think much
for i love the rains and the mist the most
and to spend time in the rain and how!

I do not think
of what others think of me
for i am on the brink of insanity
and if they think of me so
i would grin, shamelessly so
and keep smiling in endless glee!

Flashback!
run the scenes of my life
to think what made me who i am today
can't pin point on one li'l-big thing
has to be a mix of experiences
- a mix of the black, white and the gray!

Hark, we speak of joy!
and do i not smile?
when we think of this prospect bright?
for it is easy to make me happy
li'l things are all that matter; but for now
i can say, it gives me joy any day to sit, grin, and write :D

Inspirations!
they come to me
in all shapes and sizes and styles
i get inspired by the smallest of things
the sight of rains, the feel of mist
a kind word or the simplest of smiles!

Travel in time?
and if i could go back to
one moment in my past...
will definetely be to the dingy hostel room
where we made friends for a lifetime
where we fought, laughed, and had a blast!

Lifetime number two?
oh yes, i do and right now
i am flying... and this cape doesnt fit right
but i will get there, will save the world
when am done with saving myself of
this tangled cape and be able to sit upright! ;)

what makes me, me
is again a mix of things
a pinch of salt, hint of spice, a dash of lime
such is the concoction
and when shaken together
stirred/unstirred and you have me at my prime! :D

03/01, David Antony

Oh that she's frowning!...

oh that she's frowning
oh see her scorn
makes me go weak again
makes me love her more!

the way her eyes look at me
the way she tries to show anger
only tells me she loves me so -
only tells me to love her more!

she tells me she wont talk to me
but she wants me to talk right now!
she looks away but she looks for me -
only making me pine for her more!

she catches my smile
and tries to send back a frown..
to tell me hidden behind that veil
is a heart that loves me more :)

- David Antony, 02/23